We saw this cave this evening. We’re in Nazareth and after a rather ordinary day of travel and nothing totally remarkable happening or requiring processing, we went down below the convent where we’re staying.
This is the cave where Jesus lived (or at least his extended family did). The lowest portion before the entranceway is the part present in the 1st century.
My soul is both too silent for words to express my reaction to this sight and also too stirred up to ever be the same. I will need to process this a bit with you as I return, to begin to make sense of what I saw and where I was this evening. But I do know that seeing the place where Jesus lived, played, prayed, slept, and visited with his extended family brought me into a real mystical sense of the living Jesus, who was formed by this location and his traditions and family, and which played out in the ministry. I know more now about the living Jesus~ the why and how that plays out in our lives is still a wondering for me.
Mother Betsy and I ended the evening with Compline, a perfect way to enclose and release the gift we received into the love of God, whose son, our Lord, lives with us now as the risen Christ. Amen. Amen.
This is a manger, like the one Jesus would have been laid in. It was made of stone, not wood.This was not Jesus’ tomb, but shows you the round stone (right) that was rolled in front of the tombs, that the women were wondering how they would remove it when they came to anoint the body.This is what the tombs looked like. Jesus’ body would be in that area outside the tombs (the dark areas) since the women had not yet prepared his body That anteroom was designed for the women to anoint the body and to mourn.
” ….thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” (Psalm 23)
There seems to be a common thread being woven through my pilgrimage: surrender. The word I would add today to that core reacquaintance with “the place of my resurrection” would be abundance. My cup runneth over today. Joy and light and love and hope spilled out from my soul, which had been filled to the brim and then some in the beauty and truth of God and humankind in the lost city of Petra. Words and photos cannot do justice to this magnificent expression and revelation of God.
Yesterday, I took 50 photos of dirt, today I took 50 photos of rocks!
Because with each turn inward into the city, another site was revealed that was heart-stopping and soul-lifting. What Mother Betsy and I noticed, as we were coming toward the exit of the city was that the journey in and out was actually a pilgrimage, that the path so clearly could represent one’s spiritual journey. As we traveled into the center, the landscape changed. At first we were “wowed” with the smooth, slightly shaded rocks, but only to find, as we went deeper, the landscape became more complex, more intricate, and revealed a greater beauty.
As we went deep into the city and climbed to the top of the cavern, and had our “mountain top experience”, we knew that the sights on the way out, which presumably we had seen on the way in, would look different, more alive, brighter, and more inviting. And they did. There were times we went through the dark and narrow corridors, only to find a crevice of light beckoning us forward. So it seems to be when we are in the embrace of God. The truth is that we can stop our spiritual journey anywhere along the way: just peering in at the beauty, stopping at the first moment we experience a “wow” with God, refusing to enter the dark narrow corridor, afraid there is not light beyond, or we can embrace every turn, knowing God is beckoning us further, and trust that “surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our life; and we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Today taught me to never fear to give it all to God, for what is received from the place of surrender is the light of the world.
This morning we were in the desert (Wadi Qelt) by 6 a.m. to pray and celebrate the Eucharist together. We began our time by praying Psalm 23 together, as we looked out over the desert which appeared to go on endlessly. The beauty was stunning, the view expansive, and the presence of God seemed tangible. We ended the Psalm with the words, “and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever”, and my heart and soul replied “AMEN”. It is true. I know that I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever, for that is the where my heart solidly resides. It was a clear and moving moment in my spiritual pilgrimage ~ I guess that surrender part of the return to the place of our pilgrimage continues to support my journey, ever deeper into the mystery of God.
Early morning arrival in the desert.Our pilgrimage to the top (Reminded me of Psalm 122: I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”Expansive view.Amazing mountains and hills as the location of our Eucharist.Fr. Richard Wall celebrating Eucharist with us.
One of the most profound parts of the Eucharist, celebrated, in the beauty and silence of the world around us, was the people who joined us, freely and without question. The Bedouin family who live in the caves nearby, came and joined us, not to receive Holy Eucharist for they are Muslim, but to be a part of our group. Yes, they came to lay out their wares to be sold, beautiful bracelets and scarfs, ready for us to buy, but it seemed also to be a part of who we were. The little children carried on, as any child in church, running to and fro, yet also knowing something special was happening among us. It was a gift to walk down the hill with the little girl, noticing that our clothing matched and to ask her help on which bracelet I should buy from her. It was a gift for our communion and community to be expanded by their presence.
I’ve been thinking a lot about community today, about how the people in this area seem to have a different sense of it than we do. I have never seen anyone who knows so many people as our guide. Of course, that’s his professional network, but it’s also his way of life. Everywhere we go, we connect with his “cousins”, people he knows and trust, people he can count on, people he can find similarity with. I have some more thinking to do on this, but it explains a lot about how Jesus was always running into the right people, or asking the right people to provide things for him (donkey to ride into Jerusalem), or feeling comfortable sending his disciples out carrying nothing, for he knew the people along the way who would take care of them. It makes me wonder about how this sense of community supports the idea and practice of the missional church, when the church and relationships extend beyond the parish, out into the community. More to ponder here.
My other real learning today is that I will NEVER EVER AGAIN call the Israelites, who grumbled in the desert, “stiff-necked people”. Oh my goodness, to imagine they walked this desert, from Egypt to the Promised Land — it’s remarkable! I think I would have been cranky within 10 minutes of leaving the Red Sea! This land is hard and inhospitable. The distances are long. The trek difficult. They would have been unprepared for the journey, since they were not bedouins. The left hastily with unleavened bread, but also wouldn’t have had tents, animals, and a familiarity with the landscape. I really understand their discomfort and wondering what in the world Moses was doing leading them into this fragile existence. We did get to be at Mt. Nebo today, where Moses saw the Promised Land and it was stunning and beautiful. As Betsy and I noticed, we took a lot of pictures of dirt today, but the view was so amazing, we kept wanting to capture something within it that was calling us.
The Promised Land.The Church of MosesBeautiful cross at the top of the mountain, designed to incorporate the bronze serpent we hear in the story of Moses and God’s people.
Tomorrow, we head to Petra to the “lost city”, and I can’t wait!
So yesterday, I was reunited with a place of resurrection by completely surrendering to God, through my prayers at the Western Wall. It was a powerful opening within me that burst open my awareness of my love of God.
Today, we travelled to Bethlehem, which is only 7 miles from Jerusalem. For some reason, the physical distance between these important points in the Biblical narrative are much less than I had imagined. We had the amazing opportunity to arrive at the Church of the Nativity, which is built upon the spot where Jesus was born, where heaven and earth were joined, to open us for us our salvation, at the time to receive the invitation to celebrate the Eucharist with the Franciscan monks in the grotto of the Star of Bethlehem (the location of the manger).
The Star of Bethlehem, the place designated as the birthplace of Jesus.
We received the bread of life in Bethlehem, the city whose name means, “House of Bread”. The mass was held in Latin, but somehow the rhythm of the Eucharist was familiar to all and our experience transcended words we did not comprehend.
Mother Betsy and Mary Grace, preparing for the Eucharist in this holy spot.
The second part that God showed me today in my pilgrimage to the place of resurrection is our connection to the suffering of the world. Prior to the Eucharist, we met in a nearby grotto, which when excavated, revealed the bones of many babies, the Holy Innocents, the babies as our prayer named as “those who bore the price of our salvation”. I was painfully aware that our salvation certainly came at the expense of Jesus’ life, but also others have deeply suffered as a result of the love God released into the world upon Jesus’ birth, the love which others feared and felt threatened by (and still do). When we surrender to God, we bear the suffering in our world. That’s just part of it we must be willing to embrace.
I’ve learned this past year, often through my reading of Richard Rohr, that we cannot separate the “mountain top experience” of Eucharist in the grotto where Jesus was born with the suffering which resulted from this glorious act. They are the part of the same; two sides to a coin. We must embrace both of them to be fully Christians.
We then went to the Church of the Angels, which was astonishing! It was at the shepherd’s field, where the shepherds heard the message from the angels and ran into Bethlehem (not nearly as far away as I had previously imagined). The chapel was simple and true and we sang “The Shepherds watched their flocks by night” and it was a holy time. But what struck me most was the altar. I lifted the altar cloth to reveal these amazing statues of angels holding up the altar. And isn’t it true — that it is our humility, our prayer, our watchfulness, and our turning our faces toward God which hold up the altar of God, where Jesus’ love can be broken open. Don’t you think that it is our response of love that opens and supports the release of love borne to all people through the Eucharist?
Shepherd holding up the altarPrayer holding up the space for God to be released.Human humility opening the way for God’s love to be released.
Shepherd’s face turned toward God.
We also went by “The Wall”, the dividing wall that separates Israel from the occupied territory of Palestine. It’s ugly and oppressive. I have learned this is a very complex situation (Israeli and Palestinian relations) that I can’t yet understand, but want to know more and yearn to see the “Prince of Peace” who was born in this tiny town of Bethlehem to reign in this conflicted area.
Surrender, Suffering, Salvation. These words and movements of our hearts seem to flow together for me in a brand new way. Thanks be to God!
Tomorrow we head out into the Judean desert to celebrate the Eucharist as the sun rises, then off into Petra. This is the ultimate trip of a lifetime. I feel so blessed to be here, as I hold you all in my prayers. I can’t wait to share this all with you upon my return. Many blessings and much love to you all, Barbara+
Today I found a part of what I came searching for as a pilgrim. I framed my pilgrimage in John Phillip Newell’s understanding that a pilgrimage is a return to the place of your resurrection. I learned today that the place of my resurrection involves complete surrender to God. I experienced this release and joy at the Western Wall (previously called the Wailing Wall). This is the only remaining portion of the 2nd temple, which was destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE. Jews come here as a pilgrimage and also, it appeared today, as a regular or even daily ritual in their worship life. Often people write prayers on small slips of paper and insert them into the wall. I wrote mine, and it became a profession of my love for God ~ my complete surrender to the love which drives my life.
As Mother Betsy and I were walking toward the wall, with our head coverings on and a sense of reverence in our hearts, the image that came to my mind, heart, and soul was when Betsy and I were preparing to walk down the aisle for her ordination as a deacon, and she looked at me with wide-eyes and said, “I feel like I’m getting ready to marry Jesus!”. I replied, “Yes, Betsy, you are.”
Today, as I approached the wall, in the midst of women whose hearts were turned to the same God, I touched the wall, laying my hands and head upon the hard smooth surface, and prayed from the depths of my heart. I prayed for my family, then my parish family, then allowed prayers to float to my heart, and then I ended with a complete sense of love and union with God. Tears filled my eyes, reverence and awe filled my heart, and a peace settled into my soul, that once again, I opened the veil and lived into the vow I made in baptism and ordination, that indeed, my heart was filled with the love of God. This is a part of our resurrection, our understanding that we and our lives are completely dedicated to loving God. I feel blessed and honored to have taken my place among women of God who turn their thoughts, cares, devotion, and love to the God so present in this holy site.
We continued our journey, next to the Dome of the Rock, the site of Abraham’s potential sacrifice of Issac and the third holiest site is Islam, where Muhammed was taken on his night journey to Jerusalem. My favorite image from this place where we were clearly guests invited to honor another’s understanding of our God, was listening to a teacher chant the Koran to another, filling the air with beautiful sounds and a sense of passing along the faith.
From these two powerful experiences of witnessing other expressions of obedience and observance to the God of the three Abrahamic faiths, we came home to the Cathedral and joined in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. There is much to ponder from this day but my sense is that faith or God is not to be claimed, controlled, nor put boundaries around, but rather we are called to show respect for and appreciation for the multitude of ways God can be honored in people’s lives.
The other powerful experience for me today was going to the Church of St. Anne’s where we saw the pools of Bethsaida, where Jesus performed healing miracles. It was amazing to walk down into the lowest level excavated which contained the pools that Jesus would have seen and where he spoke to the man who had waited years to go into the pools and Jesus said, “Get up and walk”. We offered prayers and received anointing and I left with a broader awareness of the healing grace offered to us by Christ.
Sunrise over the city of JerusalemPrayers of devotion at Western (wailing wall)Sending our prayers to GodKoran being taught through chantDome of the Rock- holy site of IslamAnointing at St. Anne’s ChurchHealing pools at BethsaidaHoly Eucharist at St. George’s Cathedral, Jerusalem
So, I still don’t really know what day of the week it is and knowing the time of the day here becomes even more complicated because tonight is their end of Daylight Savings time, so we set our clocks back tonight, which is a gift, since we leave touring tomorrow at 6:15 a.m. But this day was a great and deeply moving and spiritual day.
Here are all the places we visited:
Garden of Gethsemane
Dominus Flevit – the church commemorating the place of Jesus’ lament over Jerusalem (Luke 13:34-35)
Church at Bethpage (beginning of Palm Sunday procession)
Caiaphas Palace (saw the jail where Jesus stayed the night before his execution) and where Peter’s denial 3 times occurred.
Judean desert (saw the place of the Moabites, Jebusites, Edomites — all those difficult names to pronounce).
Ate lunch in the West Bank at a Christian family’s home
Heard a talk from an Arab Palestinian Muslim
Amazing day! Again, I came away with more questions than knowledge, but of course, I always tell others I love questions, so I have to know for myself that’s a good thing too. My image of the day is of a tightly woven rope, that is beginning to unravel, one string at a time, for me to look more closely at. I trust God will put it all back together and it will be stronger, but there are questions to explore and ponder.
Here’s my list of learnings or questions for this evening:
I understand Jerusalem to be a city for and of Jews, but now understand why it is also a city for and of Christians.
When we drove by the Jewish section of Jerusalem, being their Sabbath, they blocked the roads off so their Sabbath could not be disturbed. I found that fascinating — just like a Rule of Life, they construct their lives to support their beliefs and relationship with God.
There was a lot of physical and geographic movement of Jesus in that last day, up and down the hills, in and out of the city, into the refuge of their friends’ home, and out in public. Made me wonder how our journey mirrors this particular part of Jesus’ walk?
We saw a really old olive tree in the Garden. The olive tree is hollow and before it dies, sends up sprouts. You can see where this happens. It sums up resurrection to me — before something dies, there is always the potential and expectation for new life.
Via negativity– a new term for me to explore — how our suffering is connected to Jesus’. I think this is true when our suffering comes from the rejection of love and truth we attempt to bring into the world, as Jesus did, and we are faced with the same sad truth that not everyone wants to live in love, wants to receive love, and is able to share love.
There’s been a lot of conflict around protecting holy sites. But didn’t Jesus tell us that it’s not what’s on the outside that’s important but what’s in our heart. This made me think a lot about the missional church, how it’s not about protecting the holy site, but by finding the holy in all places by taking love into the world, in and outside of the church. This makes sense to me and is faithfully following Jesus.
I’d love to center a stewardship campaign upon Jesus’ answer to his disciples when they asked him what they should say to the person whose donkey they are taking for Jesus’ ride into Jerusalem. Jesus said, “Tell them their master needs it.”
There’s a great icon in the church of Caiaphas’ palace of the post-resurrection appearance of Jesus to Peter, with the fish bake on the beach, and Jesus instructs Peter to “feed my sheep”. Makes me see how resurrection and feeding the hungry are inherently connected.
I was drawn to the faces of the people waiting and watching Jesus come into Jerusalem as the triumphant King — they got it right — they were in awe and reverence, and also full of trepidation and an awareness that life will never be the same. It make me think this is the same expression we all should have when we or others are baptized.
Faces watching Jesus on Palm Sunday procession from Church at BethpageWindow in chapel of Church of the Tears (Dominus Fletiv) where Jesus cried over JerusalemThe Judean desert (West Bank territory) from the edge of Jerusalem
Carved images of faces anticipating the arrival of Jesus on Palm Sunday
A very old olive tree in the Garden of GethsemaneFamily making us a great lunch. Baking over was sealed with marble slab and then sealed with mud.The hole through which Jesus was lowered with a rope around his waist into the jail cell where he awaited his trial and execution
I thought I’d be sharing insights with you each day. Instead, I’m sharing questions, which you and I can explore when I return. Isn’t God just tricky! Today we entered into the hard part of the betrayal of Jesus, but I was left in a hopeful place. This makes me realize the power of the resurrection.
So yesterday, we continued in the disorientation mode. Exhausted from jet lag, our engaging guide cajoled us to walk into the Old City of Jerusalem. We were going to what certainly can be considered the “holy of holy” places ~ the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. This is where a part of the Calvary Cross upon which Jesus was crucified had been brought by Queen Helena, the structure upon which Jesus’ tomb laid, and the marble slab upon which Jesus’ body was anointed and prepared for burial. We arrived with excitement and expectation of entering into the presence of the holy in a brand new way.
Parts were beautiful, like the dome.
But by and large, none of us was very impressed. It was crowded, poorly tended to, and a bit “Disneyland” like. We left with doubts, questions, and a sense of uneasiness, that, had we really traveled all this way to be disappointed.
However, while I was there, I was immediately drawn to the anointing slab, and I did lay my hands upon it, and I did pray for all of you there, and I did anoint my Anglican prayer beads — and I did feel a sense of reverence others brought to the experience (especially noticing the Muslim style of “head-on-the-ground” prayer on the slab, which many were doing), and I felt a connection to something mysterious and holy.
One thing that was really impressive were the number of crosses which were carved into the wall while people we waiting to see the holy sites: thousands upon thousands. I bet it was a contemplative practice people engaged in to connect with the Christ they believed in while waiting to experience some artifact or location which was important in the death of Jesus.
We spent the evening unpacking our “disorientation”, dissecting what really bothered us, deconstructing the myths that we had held onto in our faith that suddenly seemed untrue ~ and it was all unsettling.
One question I am still pondering is my draw to the anointing place. One priest spoke to me about how the bread and the wine are sacraments of the living Christ in all of us and the oil is considered to be the healing presence of Christ. Makes sense to me, I think. And I wondered, is the anointing of Jesus’ body, preparing him for a death, which became life, what we enter into each time we are anointed? Or hands are laid upon us? Or we pray for healing for ourselves and others? Did the anointing of Jesus dramatically change how we are healed, into new or eternal life? Probably so.
As I collapsed into bed last night, I prayed God would begin to show me the orientation which would emerge out of this disorientation. The Church of the Holy Sepulcher seemed to be religious yet not spiritual. Where, I wondered, would I discover the spirit of Christ in Jerusalem?
And this was all about Jesus’ death. Where’s the resurrection story?
I could easily describe my experience of the past 48 hours in one phrase: “twilight zone”. It was a disconcerting and frustrating time of waiting, delays, lines, and ultimately confusion and frustration. On Wednesday evening, our plane from Newark to Israel was delayed and ultimately cancelled.
From the very beginning, our pilgrimage has taken unexpected turns. Already I have found myself surrounded by people speaking a foreign language to each other and to me, with an expectation of my comprehension. I have been beyond exhaustion. Members of our group spent a night sleeping on the floor. Another has already lost something important. It seemed like an eternity since I handed over all my possessions (my suitcase) to strangers, with now limited expectation I’d ever see it again. We have made some decisions we may not have made in the past (such as hopping onto an airport hotel shuttle at 3 a.m. to go to a hotel with which we hadn’t yet obtained a reservation). We have heard others grumble loudly, and we have grumbled ourselves. We have also laughed and nearly been brought to tear by that laughter, and also by the absurdity of our thwarted plane trip to Tel Aviv. We have prayed. We have tended to each other, and at least most of the time, could muster at least a speck of generosity of spirit toward ourselves and others.
Disorientation is the pathway toward reorientation. I preached about this a lot this summer when we explored the psalms, since it’s Walter Brueggeman’s theory of orientation-disorientation-reorientation. I realized on the 10+ hour trip to Israel today (which finally happened) that we had just experienced our period of disorientation, so that our reorientation could emerge on the rest of our pilgrimage.
Outside Tel Aviv Airport
Do I wish there had been no delays and we had been walking the streets of the Old City Jerusalem, rather than the hallways of the Newark airport yesterday? Absolutely!
But I bet it is important that we have lived in the “twilight zone” a bit. I bet it matters that we are being disorientated, so we can be resurrected into something new during this trip. Disorientation must always proceed reorientation, it’s just so hard when we want everything to go the way we expect and want. And yet, so often leaning into that unexpectedness is exactly what brings us into a new place with God.
We did finally land in Tel Aviv this afternoon and our feet have touched Holy Land. Thanks be to God.
St. George’s Guest HouseThis is our home in Jerusalem.
This past Sunday 17 young people and 10 adults gleaned 900 pounds of apples! It was remarkable! The day was beautiful and the energy high as we headed out in the rows of apples to pick any remaining fruit from the tree or to choose good apples from the ground. it was an amazing experience to have so many of us show up to gather food, which was then transported to SPO (Shippensburg Produce Outreach) and was distributed today to their clients.
We are forming our young people in their faith by offering them the opportunity to do hands-on mission work, so they can actively make a difference in reducing the problem of hunger in our area.
After the gleaning, the youth gathered in age groups to discuss their experience and reflect upon how this connects with our scripture (The Book of Ruth) and any social justice issues raised by our experience.
This past Sunday, our young people joined in the fun and created their own beads for their Anglican Prayer Bead sets. We are so grateful they are interested in exploring different ways to pray and always feel welcome to do whatever it is the adults are doing. I just love these intergenerational events!
With our prayer beads in hand, the fire crackling in the chiminea, and the stars glistening above, we sat outside and prayed our beads. We prayed three different forms of prayers, as we worked our way around the beads we had created and strung. We all left in a quiet contented place, prepared to pray the beads ourselves, in the quiet of our homes.
We will gather all the beads one Sunday and bless them all and then use them during the Prayers of the People. We have plenty of supplies left, so if you are interested in making them, just let us know. We’re happy to sit with you and help out anytime.
If you already pray Evening Prayer, you may want to use this form of the prayer with your beads:
An Evening Prayer
The Cross
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.
The Invitatory
Open my lips, O Lord,
and my mouth shall proclaim
Your praise.
The Cruciforms
Guide us waking, O Lord,
and guard us sleeping;
that awake we may watch
with Christ, and asleep
we may rest in peace.
The Weeks
Jesus, lamb of God, have mercy on us.
Jesus, bearer of our sins, have mercy on us.
Jesus, redeemer of the world, give us your peace.
We want everyone who would like to be able to make Anglican Prayer Beads and learn how to pray them.
So we brought the beads to the people today. Thank you, Jeanine, for making this possible!
Here are some photos of people creating beads from clay, choosing the right spacer beads and laying it all out, and then stringing them.
If you would like to make a set and haven’t had the chance to do so, just let us know. We want you to be able to engage in this way to connect more deeply with God.
g that was really impressive were the number of crosses which were carved into the wall while people we waiting to see the holy sites: thousands upon thousands. I bet it was a contemplative practice people engaged in to connect with the Christ they believed in while waiting to experience some artifact or location which was important in the death of Jesus.
We are forming our young people in their faith by offering them the opportunity to do hands-on mission work, so they can actively make a difference in reducing the problem of hunger in our area.
veryone who participated! 
