Jerusalem – St. Andrew's Episcopal Church

Stay close to the cross.

We gathered in the morning light, with the lingering clouds highlighted in a rose hue above the cross which adorns St. George’s Cathedral, and we listened to the instructions of our guide, Iyad, as we headed into the city of Jerusalem to walk the stations of the cross. The various stations are strategically placed throughout the city and many pilgrims traverse the Via Dolrosa.

The instructions Iyad offered us seemed to be mere logistical considerations, yet they were much more for me.

Here’s what I heard him say: “Stay close to the cross”. This was a reminder to keep the group together, since we’d be crossing streets and needed to move as a group. I heard, “stay close to the place of our redemption, stay close to Jesus’ love, stay close to the healing grace Jesus so freely offered us on the cross”.

Next I heard Iyad say, “People may look at you funny for carrying a cross, but don’t worry about it”. I heard, “All that we do in the name of Christ and out of our love for Christ will not be understood by everyone. That’s okay. Be true to yourself and Christ.”

And then we headed out into the city. I heard “yalla — which had been Iyad’s cue to get moving, but I heard, “take the cross into the city, into the places we live, into the places that need to be healed, into the world, wherever you find God’s people.” (I have later come to realize “yalla” really means “Come follow me”, another good reminder to be followers along the way.

We moved as a group, headed toward the Old City of Jerusalem. We traversed the cobblestones, well polished from the millions of footsteps over the centuries. We were one of many who have made this journey. Life was beginning to emerge in the neighborhoods. We made our pilgrimage in the midst of the Muslim call to prayer, in the listening to the cock crow three times, in the awakening of sleepy cats in the alleys, in the presence of Israeli soldiers patrolling the gates to the city, past the Armenian hospice, walking in step with the Jews returning from prayer. And then we began our readings and prayers at each station, a kind of call and response, prayers led by each of us, and each of our hearts responding. Somehow the Spirit placed exactly the right reading or prayer in each of our hands, calling from the depths of our own spirits and souls that truth we needed to proclaim.

At one station, I believe it was VI, there was a woman sitting. After our time as a group, as we prepared to move along, our guide shared with us that the woman was asking for our prayers. It was a moment of grace. Mother Betsy and I instinctively moved forward, asked permission to lay hands upon her, and we prayed, and it felt as though all of us, and perhaps the whole world, was praying along. It was grace that we could offer the love Christ was sharing with us with this woman. In this exchange I heard, “taking the cross out into the city means being up-close-and-personal with others”. This ministry of taking up the cross means touching people, means sharing of ourselves, means a personal interchange. Another important piece of our pilgrimage.

We moved along and ended at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, where we went to Calvary, where we touched the spot where Jesus hung on the cross. It was in that moment that the fruit of this pilgrimage came to bear. I know what it means for me to “return to the place of my resurrection”. It’s all about self-emptying. The greek word for this act, of course, is Kenosis, and it means the complete release within, so that we can be filled with the Holy Spirit which will guide our lives. It’s a scary thing to do. It takes into account all that I have wrestled with and been offered clarity around this week. It involves surrender, suffering, sacrifice, humility, vulnerability, and above all else, love of Christ. This step stops being scary only when we realize that emptying ourselves doesn’t leave us with nothing, but rather it leaves us with everything~ Christ in our hearts.

We concluded our pilgrimage this morning with a glorious celebration of Holy Eucharist at the Cathedral. And guess what? The sermon was about resurrection! It was one of the best sermons I’ve heard in a long time. One image the preacher left with us was a quote from his deceased wife’s book, that “resurrection is future joy brought near in the present moment” (not exact quote). His wife had described resurrection as watercolor (future joy and hope) and seeping out over the glossy paper (our lives).

I found it. I understand this particular pilgrimage and what God spoke to in my heart. Redemption always happens. And it begins with our love of Christ and our commitment and dedication to not put it aside, and like Peter on the shore eating fish for breakfast with Jesus after his resurrection, to claim it as our own, and take the cross of Christ out into our world.

Touching a piece of my resurrection

Today I found a part of what I came searching for as a pilgrim. I framed my pilgrimage in John Phillip Newell’s understanding that a pilgrimage is a return to the place of your resurrection. I learned today that the place of my resurrection involves complete surrender to God. I experienced this release and joy at the Western Wall (previously called the Wailing Wall). This is the only remaining portion of the 2nd temple, which was destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE. Jews come here as a pilgrimage and also, it appeared today, as a regular or even daily ritual in their worship life. Often people write prayers on small slips of paper and insert them into the wall. I wrote mine, and it became a profession of my love for God ~ my complete surrender to the love which drives my life.

As Mother Betsy and I were walking toward the wall, with our head coverings on and a sense of reverence in our hearts, the image that came to my mind, heart, and soul was when Betsy and I were preparing to walk down the aisle for her ordination as a deacon, and she looked at me with wide-eyes and said, “I feel like I’m getting ready to marry Jesus!”. I replied, “Yes, Betsy, you are.”

Today, as I approached the wall, in the midst of women whose hearts were turned to the same God, I touched the wall, laying my hands and head upon the hard smooth surface, and prayed from the depths of my heart. I prayed for my family, then my parish family, then allowed prayers to float to my heart, and then I ended with a complete sense of love and union with God. Tears filled my eyes, reverence and awe filled my heart, and a peace settled into my soul, that once again, I opened the veil and lived into the vow I made in baptism and ordination, that indeed, my heart was filled with the love of God. This is a part of our resurrection, our understanding that we and our lives are completely dedicated to loving God. I feel blessed and honored to have taken my place among women of God who turn their thoughts, cares, devotion, and love to the God so present in this holy site.

We continued our journey, next to the Dome of the Rock, the site of Abraham’s potential sacrifice of Issac and the third holiest site is Islam, where Muhammed was taken on his night journey to Jerusalem. My favorite image from this place where we were clearly guests invited to honor another’s understanding of our God, was listening to a teacher chant the Koran to another, filling the air with beautiful sounds and a sense of passing along the faith.

From these two powerful experiences of witnessing other expressions of obedience and observance to the God of the three Abrahamic faiths, we came home to the Cathedral and joined in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. There is much to ponder from this day but my sense is that faith or God is not to be claimed, controlled, nor put boundaries around, but rather we are called to show respect for and appreciation for the multitude of ways God can be honored in people’s lives.

The other powerful experience for me today was going to the Church of St. Anne’s where we saw the pools of Bethsaida, where Jesus performed healing miracles. It was amazing to walk down into the lowest level excavated which contained the pools that Jesus would have seen and where he spoke to the man who had waited years to go into the pools and Jesus said, “Get up and walk”. We offered prayers and received anointing and I left with a broader awareness of the healing grace offered to us by Christ.

2016-10-30-06-30-51 — Sunrise over the city of Jerusalem

2016-10-30-06-46-13 — Prayers of devotion at Western (wailing wall)

2016-10-30-06-46-39 — Sending our prayers to God

2016-10-30-07-59-14 — Koran being taught through chant

2016-10-30-07-38-59 — Dome of the Rock- holy site of Islam

2016-10-30-08-50-05 — Anointing at St. Anne’s Church

2016-10-30-09-01-13 — Healing pools at Bethsaida

2016-10-30-11-10-08 — Holy Eucharist at St. George’s Cathedral, Jerusalem

Moving deeply into the Spirit of Christ

So, I still don’t really know what day of the week it is and knowing the time of the day here becomes even more complicated because tonight is their end of Daylight Savings time, so we set our clocks back tonight, which is a gift, since we leave touring tomorrow at 6:15 a.m. But this day was a great and deeply moving and spiritual day.

Here are all the places we visited:

Garden of Gethsemane
Dominus Flevit – the church commemorating the place of Jesus’ lament over Jerusalem (Luke 13:34-35)
Church at Bethpage (beginning of Palm Sunday procession)
Caiaphas Palace (saw the jail where Jesus stayed the night before his execution) and where Peter’s denial 3 times occurred.
Judean desert (saw the place of the Moabites, Jebusites, Edomites — all those difficult names to pronounce).
Ate lunch in the West Bank at a Christian family’s home
Heard a talk from an Arab Palestinian Muslim

Amazing day! Again, I came away with more questions than knowledge, but of course, I always tell others I love questions, so I have to know for myself that’s a good thing too. My image of the day is of a tightly woven rope, that is beginning to unravel, one string at a time, for me to look more closely at. I trust God will put it all back together and it will be stronger, but there are questions to explore and ponder.

Here’s my list of learnings or questions for this evening:

I understand Jerusalem to be a city for and of Jews, but now understand why it is also a city for and of Christians.
When we drove by the Jewish section of Jerusalem, being their Sabbath, they blocked the roads off so their Sabbath could not be disturbed. I found that fascinating — just like a Rule of Life, they construct their lives to support their beliefs and relationship with God.
There was a lot of physical and geographic movement of Jesus in that last day, up and down the hills, in and out of the city, into the refuge of their friends’ home, and out in public. Made me wonder how our journey mirrors this particular part of Jesus’ walk?
We saw a really old olive tree in the Garden. The olive tree is hollow and before it dies, sends up sprouts. You can see where this happens. It sums up resurrection to me — before something dies, there is always the potential and expectation for new life.
Via negativity– a new term for me to explore — how our suffering is connected to Jesus’. I think this is true when our suffering comes from the rejection of love and truth we attempt to bring into the world, as Jesus did, and we are faced with the same sad truth that not everyone wants to live in love, wants to receive love, and is able to share love.
There’s been a lot of conflict around protecting holy sites. But didn’t Jesus tell us that it’s not what’s on the outside that’s important but what’s in our heart. This made me think a lot about the missional church, how it’s not about protecting the holy site, but by finding the holy in all places by taking love into the world, in and outside of the church. This makes sense to me and is faithfully following Jesus.
I’d love to center a stewardship campaign upon Jesus’ answer to his disciples when they asked him what they should say to the person whose donkey they are taking for Jesus’ ride into Jerusalem. Jesus said, “Tell them their master needs it.”
There’s a great icon in the church of Caiaphas’ palace of the post-resurrection appearance of Jesus to Peter, with the fish bake on the beach, and Jesus instructs Peter to “feed my sheep”. Makes me see how resurrection and feeding the hungry are inherently connected.
I was drawn to the faces of the people waiting and watching Jesus come into Jerusalem as the triumphant King — they got it right — they were in awe and reverence, and also full of trepidation and an awareness that life will never be the same. It make me think this is the same expression we all should have when we or others are baptized.
Faces watching Jesus on Palm Sunday procession from Church at Bethpage

Window in chapel of Church of the Tears (Dominus Fletiv) where Jesus cried over Jerusalem

The Judean desert (West Bank territory) from the edge of Jerusalem

Carved images of faces anticipating the arrival of Jesus on Palm Sunday

2016-10-29-07-40-10 — A very old olive tree in the Garden of Gethsemane

2016-10-29-13-08-12 — Family making us a great lunch. Baking over was sealed with marble slab and then sealed with mud.

2016-10-29-09-43-04 — The hole through which Jesus was lowered with a rope around his waist into the jail cell where he awaited his trial and execution

I thought I’d be sharing insights with you each day. Instead, I’m sharing questions, which you and I can explore when I return. Isn’t God just tricky! Today we entered into the hard part of the betrayal of Jesus, but I was left in a hopeful place. This makes me realize the power of the resurrection.

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher — Day ??

So yesterday, we continued in the disorientation mode. Exhausted from jet lag, our engaging guide cajoled us to walk into the Old City of Jerusalem. We were going to what certainly can be considered the “holy of holy” places ~ the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. This is where a part of the Calvary Cross upon which Jesus was crucified had been brought by Queen Helena, the structure upon which Jesus’ tomb laid, and the marble slab upon which Jesus’ body was anointed and prepared for burial. We arrived with excitement and expectation of entering into the presence of the holy in a brand new way.

Parts were beautiful, like the dome.

But by and large, none of us was very impressed. It was crowded, poorly tended to, and a bit “Disneyland” like. We left with doubts, questions, and a sense of uneasiness, that, had we really traveled all this way to be disappointed.

However, while I was there, I was immediately drawn to the anointing slab, and I did lay my hands upon it, and I did pray for all of you there, and I did anoint my Anglican prayer beads — and I did feel a sense of reverence others brought to the experience (especially noticing the Muslim style of “head-on-the-ground” prayer on the slab, which many were doing), and I felt a connection to something mysterious and holy.

One thing that was really impressive were the number of crosses which were carved into the wall while people we waiting to see the holy sites: thousands upon thousands. I bet it was a contemplative practice people engaged in to connect with the Christ they believed in while waiting to experience some artifact or location which was important in the death of Jesus.

We spent the evening unpacking our “disorientation”, dissecting what really bothered us, deconstructing the myths that we had held onto in our faith that suddenly seemed untrue ~ and it was all unsettling.

One question I am still pondering is my draw to the anointing place. One priest spoke to me about how the bread and the wine are sacraments of the living Christ in all of us and the oil is considered to be the healing presence of Christ. Makes sense to me, I think. And I wondered, is the anointing of Jesus’ body, preparing him for a death, which became life, what we enter into each time we are anointed? Or hands are laid upon us? Or we pray for healing for ourselves and others? Did the anointing of Jesus dramatically change how we are healed, into new or eternal life? Probably so.

As I collapsed into bed last night, I prayed God would begin to show me the orientation which would emerge out of this disorientation. The Church of the Holy Sepulcher seemed to be religious yet not spiritual. Where, I wondered, would I discover the spirit of Christ in Jerusalem?

And this was all about Jesus’ death. Where’s the resurrection story?

Disorientation … a path toward Reinorientation

I could easily describe my experience of the past 48 hours in one phrase: “twilight zone”. It was a disconcerting and frustrating time of waiting, delays, lines, and ultimately confusion and frustration. On Wednesday evening, our plane from Newark to Israel was delayed and ultimately cancelled.

From the very beginning, our pilgrimage has taken unexpected turns. Already I have found myself surrounded by people speaking a foreign language to each other and to me, with an expectation of my comprehension. I have been beyond exhaustion. Members of our group spent a night sleeping on the floor. Another has already lost something important. It seemed like an eternity since I handed over all my possessions (my suitcase) to strangers, with now limited expectation I’d ever see it again. We have made some decisions we may not have made in the past (such as hopping onto an airport hotel shuttle at 3 a.m. to go to a hotel with which we hadn’t yet obtained a reservation). We have heard others grumble loudly, and we have grumbled ourselves. We have also laughed and nearly been brought to tear by that laughter, and also by the absurdity of our thwarted plane trip to Tel Aviv. We have prayed. We have tended to each other, and at least most of the time, could muster at least a speck of generosity of spirit toward ourselves and others.

Disorientation is the pathway toward reorientation. I preached about this a lot this summer when we explored the psalms, since it’s Walter Brueggeman’s theory of orientation-disorientation-reorientation. I realized on the 10+ hour trip to Israel today (which finally happened) that we had just experienced our period of disorientation, so that our reorientation could emerge on the rest of our pilgrimage.

2016-10-28-09-03-55 — Outside Tel Aviv Airport

Do I wish there had been no delays and we had been walking the streets of the Old City Jerusalem, rather than the hallways of the Newark airport yesterday? Absolutely!

But I bet it is important that we have lived in the “twilight zone” a bit. I bet it matters that we are being disorientated, so we can be resurrected into something new during this trip. Disorientation must always proceed reorientation, it’s just so hard when we want everything to go the way we expect and want. And yet, so often leaning into that unexpectedness is exactly what brings us into a new place with God.

We did finally land in Tel Aviv this afternoon and our feet have touched Holy Land. Thanks be to God.