THE DAY MINISTERS WERE INVENTED
While going through some old papers I found this article that I thought you may find interesting. It was in a Episcopal Church publication in the early 60’s , the author is unknown. It is meant to be funny but there is a lot of truth to it. As we enter a new year let us resolve not to be a Mr. Sluphit, Mrs. Churchhill or Deacon Staid.
“The Day Ministers Were Invented”
I wasn’t there when ministers were invented but from what I’ve noticed in a lot of churches I’m quite sure of how it must have happened.
The church folk all got together one day for a business meeting. After arguing about the social committee for about half an hour – they always argue about the social committee for about half an hour—they set their minds to worrying about the work of the church.
“I just haven’t time”, say Mr. Sluphit, “to waste visiting the sick. My business has got me so bogged down I can hardly get in a good day of golf”.
This started things off. Others took the floor and gave heart warming testimonies of parties, television sets, hobbies, sports, dates, committees, and businesses. It became quite apparent that no one had time to call on the needy, to comfort those in grief, to laugh with those that laugh and weep with those that weep, or to witness Christ to the condemned. The church folk just didn’t have time.
“We must do something about it,” declared Mrs. Churchill.
“Well, we have always done it this way, “ put in Deacon Staid. (He always said this about anything that came up for discussion, regardless of what it was.)
Mrs. Summit rose to her feet at that point and summed up the whole matter. “It’s a problem,” she said, and then sat down again.
“And another thing,” added someone else, assuming that all agreed with Mrs. Summit, “in an organization of this size we make a lot of blunders. As it stands now we have no one except ourselves to blame, and that’s a mighty uncomfortable feeling. Something ought to be done about this, too!”
“That isn’t all,” another put in. “I for one have bad eyesight, and nothing strains my eyes more than reading the Bible. After finishing the evening paper and relaxing by the television set for a couple of hours, I try to read a few verses but the print makes my eyes throb. It’ll ruin my health.”
Someone added that it was too great a bother to think about ethics and theology, and that it certainly would be nice if someone could do the thinking for them.
The whole church quickly saw the sad state of affairs and resolved that something must be done. Then one fellow— it was the same one who thought of hiring the janitor— made a suggestion. “Why don’t we hire a man or women for all these things” he said.
Everybody readily saw the logic in the suggestion. They could hire a person to do their spiritual thinking and Bible study and then tell them about it every week. The same person could be blamed for anything and everything that went wrong. He or she could do all the visiting of the sick, the welcoming of strangers, the witnessing to the lost, and the comforting of the grief-stricken. They could hire a person for all that and then forget about it. And so, it was decided that they should get themselves a minister.
After this they all had coffee………………